“Parenthood… It’s about guiding
the next generation,
and forgiving the last.”
Peter Krause
When I became a mother of two beautiful children. The change from a carefree young girl to a responsible mother was ‘Rewarding yet draining’, ‘Liberating yet hectic’ And ‘Surreal yet Confusing for me’.
I looked forward to being a mother, even before I did, but let’s look at it another way.
Raising a toddler with barely 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep and a day full of little meltdowns (because the little one can’t find his favourite toy) did get overwhelmingly difficult for me. Not to forget their adorable cute faces and some magical moments I wish I could cherish forever made it slightly easier, but the continuous grind that one goes through while raising a child, the fear of ‘How was I supposed to mould my kid into a self-assured human?’, trying to control their behaviour, and make them act the way I wanted to, went a bit over the top at times.
I realised that parenting is a journey of personal growth whether we choose it or not, it’s kind of forced upon us. And we certainly feel overstressed, stretched, scared and lacking in a sense of security and belonging ourselves. When we become more self-aware, we are coming to peace with ourselves as parents, coming to peace with the shortcomings of our childhood, which may in itself mean coming to peace with how hurt, disappointed, heartbroken, angry or outraged we feel about the wounds and unmet needs that spill over into daily life, which likely relate to our childhood.
We need a perspective shift where we can allow and embrace the reality that those uncomfortable emotions can be dealt with kindness and empathy. This does not mean you allow or encourage inappropriate actions or do not set limits or boundaries, it simply restores your faith that age-appropriate cooperation is developed with time and maturity and is strengthened by the emotional bond you develop with your child. The goal is not to become the perfect harmonious family as fast as possible, (as much as that would be nice), but to be a parent who can love and accept yourself as the person you are, which makes it easier to accept your child as the person they are and the family you are; the good, the bad and the ugly. Every challenge is easier to tackle when there’s an acceptance that it is how it is right now and accept all the related feelings.
When we ensure that our homes are a safe space to express all our feelings, emotions and needs, we’ll lead a revolutionary change!
Are you ready for it?